FAQ Share Tweets News sites Charities Dating apps Reddit Universities Gay & lesbian voices

FAQ

What is the new homophobia? What is this website about?

This website aims to expose homophobia from people and organisations that claim to be "progressive", "LGBT" or "LGBT allies". It looks an awful lot like the old homophobia, save for a thin veneer of "progressive" language. It is particularly insidious and problematic as the people propagating it claim to be pro-gay, and many "progressive" institutions perpetuate it. It has even affected the law. For a full explanation, overview and citations, visit our homepage.

What is this "FAQ" page for?

This page aims to answer questions about the new homophobia, and offer counter-arguments to trans rights activists/allies who are either oblivious to or supportive of it. Though such people are unlikely to change their minds, these may be useful to people who are on the fence about the issue, and if you must argue with a trans rights activist, this page may save you time.

Please keep your interactions respectful. You will be more convincing that way.

What's wrong with redefining homosexuality to "same gender attraction"? Isn't that just including trans people?

It pushes gay men and lesbians back into the closet

Imagine a gay man or lesbian, who has struggled to come to terms with their exclusive same sex attraction, but finally finds the courage to come out as gay. Later, they find out "gay" no longer means what it used to. Homosexuality is redefined as "same gender attraction" and people claim gay men can be aroused by vaginas. A new closet has been built around them.

If they want to be true to themselves, they now have to come out again, and this time, they'll face abuse from their own "community", telling them it's transphobic to say lesbians don't like dick, and to keep their "preferences" to themselves.

It enables homophobia

Gay rights activists have tried to legitimise being gay for decades. They told people it's not a choice. That it can't be changed. That it's not wrong. That it's not OK to tell gay people to keep it to themselves. Now homosexuality is being redefined to "same gender attraction", trans rights activists/allies are re-using many homophobic tropes against same sex attracted people.

Why would lesbians exclude trans women from lesbian events? Isn't that transphobic?

Breaking down the argument

Calling such events "transphobic" misses the point. Trans women are not being excluded because they are trans, they are being excluded because they are biologically male. There are plenty of trans-only and trans-focused communities, and no one is calling these events "homophobic" or "cis-phobic" for excluding people who aren't trans.

I encourage anyone who takes issue with events for those born female, but not with events for anyone who identifies as a woman (or trans-only events, for that matter) to consider this: If sex and gender identity are different, why are single-gender events OK but single-sex events not?

Why would you need such spaces anyway?

People who are exclusively same sex attracted, and/or born female, have unique experiences and face unique challenges that no one else will understand. They have been oppressed for thousands of years due to their biology and giving marginalised people their own spaces - where they find community, understanding and are free of judgement and prejudice from other groups - is beneficial.

Additionally, lesbians face pressure to date trans women (and gay men to date trans men) and to keep their same sex attraction to themselves, lest they be labelled transphobic. Not allowing lesbians single-sex events further delegitimises and erases exclusive same sex attraction, and denies lesbians the opportunity to find community and love without worrying about this pressure.

Definitions and power dynamics

Given LGBT charities and many others say you do not need any medical diagnoses or interventions to be trans, this means "trans woman" refers to anyone born male who identifies as a woman. Besides denying same sex attracted women an exclusive space, this is open to abuse by predatory men, who can not only freely intrude on female spaces, but label anyone who objects "transphobic".

For example, in the UK, lesbian Jenny Watson ran lesbian speed-dating events. Biological males entered and sexually assaulted a client. In response, Watson made her events explicitly single sex, which resulted in her recieving threats and abuse from trans rights activists and their allies and the venue cancelling her events. Read more about Jenny Watson's story.

See more bullying directed at Watson and others from Twitter and Reddit.

Setting back gay rights

The idea that lesbian spaces must include trans women becomes especially problematic when it comes to speed dating. By mandating trans women (biological males) are included in speed dating events, you are making it hard for same sex attracted women to exclude the opposite sex from their dating pool. This is homophobic.

After centuries of shaming, criminalisation, attempts to "cure" them, murder and rape (which continues to this day, sometimes even in progressive countries), the last thing lesbians and gay men need is "progressives" expecting them to be "inclusive" of the opposite sex.

Why is it problematic to call same sex attraction a "genital preference"?

It's inaccurate.

"Genital preference" implies that same sex attraction is all about genitals, which is false. Same sex attraction is determined by many different sex characteristics, such as fat distribution, hip size, shoulder size, hand and foot size, smell, feel and voice.

The term has also been used to push the idea that it's "transphobic" for gay men and lesbians to sexually reject a person of the opposite sex (who identifies as the same gender) if they have had "bottom surgery" - for example, a trans woman who has had their penis inverted into a neovagina, or a trans man who has had flesh removed from their arm to form a neophallus. This homophobic argument has been made in LGBT news outlet The Advocate.

Surgically constructed genitals do not function the same as the ones people are born with, and it is unlikely that surgery and hormones will erase all noticeable attributes of the person's sex, especially when they get intimate.

It's offensive.

Gay men and lesbians may have struggled to come to terms with their sexual orientation. Referring to it using gross, inaccurate language like this is not kind. If you are doing it to be "inclusive" of opposite sex attracted (heterosexual) people who identify as gay, I invite you to consider whether asking a sexual minority to move over to accomodate heterosexuals is actually a kind thing to do, and to look for alternative methods of inclusion.

It enables homophobia.

Several years ago, people were encouraged to stop referring to homosexuality as a "sexual preference", because preference implies choice and that you might be open to the thing you don't "prefer". However, exclusive same sex attraction is non-negotiable. It is not a choice. That is why the term "sexual orientation" is used instead.

"Genital preference" is worse, as it also implies same sex attraction is only about genitals, an idea propagated by trans rights activists. Some even call same sex attraction a "fetish".

What if a trans person has genital surgery? Shoudn't a gay man be attracted to a trans man with a neophallus, and lesbians be attracted to trans women with a neovagina?

The idea that it's wrong to not date trans people who have had "bottom surgery" on the basis of the trans person's sex has been made in LGBT news site The Advocate, which claims 'some gay men are afraid that dating a transgender man would call into question their “gold-star” status'.

Same sex attraction is not just about genitals

Some trans people have genital surgery, also known as "bottom surgery" or "gender affirming surgery". For trans women, the penis is inverted to form a neovagina. For trans men, flesh from their arm is used to construct a neophallus. However, same sex attraction is determined by many different sex characteristics, such as fat distribution, hip size, shoulder size, hand and foot size, smell, feel and voice. In many cases, surgery and hormons cannot hide someone's sex, especially when you get to the stage of physical intimacy. Also, surgically constructed genitals do not function the same way as the real thing.

Repeating homophobic tropes: "You haven't found the right man yet"

Religious conservatives may tell a lesbian "you haven't found the right man[member of the opposite sex] yet". While it may be true that some people who believe themselves to be homosexual may find themselves attracted to someone of the opposite sex, for the majority their sexual orientation is 100% exclusive. Sexual orientation cannot be changed.

It's not gay men and lesbians' job to make the opposite sex feel included

Similarly, some trans women might pass well enough for some lesbians to happily date them. However, telling lesbians they can't categorically refuse to date trans women (members of the opposite sex) because they haven't met every single trans woman is essentially saying "You haven't found the right trans woman[subset of the opposite sex] yet". Gay men and lesbians have fought long and hard for their exclusive same sex attraction to be recognised, and still face pressure to conform to heterosexual norms today. It is not OK to expect them to continuously deny their exclusive same sex attraction.