Reddit's hypocrisy, misogyny and homophobia
This page contains a small sample of misogyny and homophobia from Reddit's users and administrators.
Confused about what the heck is going on? See our explanation.
Reddit is a social media site organised into communities called subreddits for discussing different topics. It has policies against hate speech, but these are not evenly applied. The fact that the "r/lesbians" subreddit is pornography, forcing actual lesbians to choose another name, should give you a fair idea of what kind of site this can be.
r/LGB
LGB people focusing on LGB issues is "hateful" according to Reddit users
Trans rights activists and their allies are vehemently against LGB people organising by themselves, and often are abusive towards LGB people who dare focus on their own issues. A more tame example of that is the r/LGB subreddit, which is full of spam posts reading "trans rights," with one person describing it as "hateful". However, Reddit is home to many trans-focused subreddits, which no one seems to take issue with.
r/RealLesbiansRealWomen
A subreddit for biological women was banned from Reddit within a month for "hate"
Looking at the archived copies of this subreddit, there doesn't seem to be much hate.
Lesbian subreddit bans lesbians from saying they're not attracted to people with penises
However, trans women are allowed to discuss rejection experiences
Trans woman moderator of the subreddit r/ActualLesbiansOver25 says posts "expressing transphobia (e.g. talking about how certain genitals...completely disqualify you from being attracted to [someone] as a partner)" will be removed, with "serious offenses" leading to a ban.
r/ActualLesbiansOver25 has over 14,000 members. Reddit communities are not democracies. Everything in a community/subreddit is controlled by the subreddit moderators, and everything on Reddit is under the control of the Reddit admins. This is one of the probably thousands of examples of exclusion in the name of "inclusion". As with many other examples, exclusively same sex attracted (homosexual) women are at the bottom of the food chain.
View archived post and comments
"Inclusive of all WLW[women loving women]", unless you think lesbianism doesn't include penises
The subreddit's description starts off by praising the subreddit r/ActualLesbians, saying it's "inclusive of all WLW, did a good job of enforcing no TERFs". At the end of the description, they say "We do NOT tolerate TERFs, anti-trans rhetoric, or any form of bigotry". Rule 4 of r/ActualLesbiansOver25 is "NO TERFs or Bigots", and states "trans women ARE WOMEN". Rule 1 is "Be Kind", though I struggle to see how it's kind to prevent lesbians from discussing lesbian sexuality on a lesbian subreddit.
Screenshot of r/ActualLesbiansOver25's rules, taken 17 Feb 2024. Archiving sites sometimes struggle with Reddit, but the rules and description are available in the source code of this Wayback Machine snapshot.
What's yours is mine, what's mine is mine
As of Feb 2024, the r/gay subreddit has over 375,000 members. Its description reads as follows: 'r/gay is for everyone in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Divisive posts or comments intended to "Drop the T" or other such drivel will result in an instant ban and mute. United we stand against hate, no quarter shall be given.' The one and only moderator-pinned post is about "trans rights".
The subreddit's logo is a "Progress Flag", with the pink, blue, white and yellow of the trans and intersex flags obscuring much of the original rainbow. However, little is heard about intersex people in trans rights activist corners of the internet, except when the existence of these rare individuals is used to (supposedly) prove that sex is a "complicated" spectrum. And if sex is a spectrum, trans rights activists say, why not just go on how people self-identify?
Under rule 2 ("No hate (or divisive politics)"), users are instructed to "break down the gender binary", one of the stated goals of trans rights activists, and states "mods will use discretion in removing toxic content". I'm left wondering who this subreddit is really for.
However, r/trans makes its goals relatively clear; its description reads "r/trans, the Reddit Home for everything Transgender". One of the rules of r/trans is to "respect the trans community". Interestingly, r/gay has no such equivalent rule.
Archiving sites sometimes struggle with Reddit, but the rules and description are available in the source code of these Wayback Machine snapshots of r/gay and r/trans.
One of the rules of r/trans is "No Truscum, Transmedicalist, or Gatekeeping Ideologies". "Truscum" and "transmedicalist" refer to people (including trans people) who believe you must have gender dysphoria in order to be trans. Trans rights activists will even silence trans people who disagree with them.
The trans subreddit also features a strict "No Chasers" rule. It reads: "r/trans is a safe space for trans people, their stories, discussions, and content. It is NOT a place for people to fetishize us, attempt to hit on or pick up users, or any other general creepy behavior. Similarly, if such behavior is seen in your account’s post/comment history, you are not permitted to participate in r/trans. The Moderation Team maintains discretion as to what is included in this rule."[1][2] The mods clearly understand the importance of minorities having spaces for themselves, away from discrimination or unwanted sexual attention. If only trans rights activists afforded the same respect to lesbians' boundaries online and offline.
Rape fantasy subreddit has been up for TWO YEARS
r/dykeconversion claims to be 'a subreddit for lesbians and adjacent queer people to explore nonconsensual fantasies about men and being "turned straight."'. Two posts from the subreddit which have been archived on archive.today are linked below as examples. One is from a "trans lesbian" who describes themselves as "superior", presumably superior to biological women. The other is a "cishet" (non-trans heterosexual) man who wrote a 1,294 word violent sexual fantasy about "TERF" lesbians. As of January 2024, the sidebar on the archived posts from r/dykeconversion say it has been "a community for 2 years".
One might wonder whether trans rights activism is giving supposedly leftist men (whom may not actually care about trans people) a cover for their misogyny.
WARNING: It goes without saying, but the following links are highly confronting as they contain descriptions of sexual violence. Be warned that the r/dykeconversion subreddit contains pornography, which can show up on the sidebar when viewing posts. At the time of writing, the archived links appeared to contain an image from a porn video, but no nudity. The screenshots provided have had suspect images removed.
View screenshot of "cishet" man's post
View screenshot of "trans lesbian" post
View archived copy of "cishet" man's post (APPEARS TO CONTAIN PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGE BUT NO NUDITY AT TIME OF WRITING)
View archived copy of "trans lesbian" post (APPEARS TO CONTAIN PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGE BUT NO NUDITY AT TIME OF WRITING)
Reddit users show contempt towards a lesbian bar that excludes biological males
When faced with women who dare exclude biological males from their spaces, trans rights activists and their allies will argue the policy can't be enforced, and that said women will end up doing genital inspections.
View posts on archive.today
View posts on Wayback Machine
One of the people here seems to think lesbians won't be able to tell the difference between a biological male and a woman dressed in a masculine way.
Typical mocking and put-downs from Reddit trans rights advocates directed at women who assert their boundaries
r/ActualLesbians user encourages lesbians to "overcome" their "prefer[ences]" to include a the opposite sex in their dating pool
The post got over 400 upvotes
The "basics"
Dot points 1 and 3 go without saying, although they said them anyway. Of course, you are not obligated to date every trans woman you meet. The second dot point, is problematic. Exclusive same sex attraction is not a "preference".
The last dot point says it's "transphobic" to not be interested in "a specific woman because she is trans". For clarity, this user thinks it's "transphobic" for a lesbian to not be interested a member of the opposite sex, if they have taken steps to appear to be the same sex. This is a great example of how reframing things can make the acceptable seem unacceptable, and vice versa. This is not OK. Even if (as is the case here) the trans woman has had genital surgery. They are asserting that lesbians' sexual orientation is wrong.
Refusing to accept some people are just same sex attracted
They try to erode lesbians' boundaries by saying "Trans women are women. They are often indistinguishable from cis women," and says 'Saying you're "not attracted to trans women" as a blanket statement cannot have a basis in empirical reality, but purely in prejudice.' This uses the almost the exact same strategy to invalidate same sex attraction as conservatives who tell lesbians "you haven't found the right man yet". They reiterate this old homophobic trope, describing the statement "I've never been attracted to a trans woman, therefore trans women aren't attractive to me" as a fallacy.
"No ill-intent implied"
They later state "there's no ill-intent implied" when someone is called "transphobic", saying "It is not an insult to be called transphobic, any more than it is an insult to be called trans." If only they'd tell that to all the trans rights activists sending women death and rape threats and abusing gay people because they percieve them to be "transphobic".
"...You could even try to overcome it"
They continue: "...if you realize you...are not attracted to trans women...it should inspire you to do a little soul searching to understand why this is so. If you can't get over it, you should recognize that it is your problem and not anyone else's. If you are fortunate enough to have a trans person in your social circle, perhaps you could even try to overcome it." Worryingly, this is not the only example of conversion therapy rhetoric from trans rights activists/allies.
Reinforcing the idea that lesbianism includes the opposite sex
They say: "Trans women are all trans. Lesbians are all women who are attracted to women...there is no other universal quality. The moment you say (or imply) any other commonality, you're doing it wrong." The idea that homosexuals can be attracted to members of the opposite sex who identify as the same gender appears to be the most common form of homophobia from trans rights activists/allies.
"Keep [it] to yourself"
Near the end of the post, they say: "If you're 100% sure that you would never date a trans/black/Jewish/butch/immigrant woman, this may be a time to keep that to yourself." Through reframing, they have associated exclusive same sex attraction - an oppressed sexual orientation - with racism. They are not the only one to do this. They say "When you speak up to specifically exclude trans women from your romantic prospects in a context defined by courtship (ie: LGBT spaces), you are implicitly othering them in that community. It's hard to explain why that is so, but it's impossible to ignore."
So, in other words, this person is fine with lesbians, as long as they are attracted to people of the opposite sex who have had genital surgery, make sure they don't exclude people of the opposite sex (who happen to be trans) from their dating pool, possibly work to "overcome" what they "prefer", and don't publicly voice their exclusive same sex attraction in dating contexts. And over 400 people on the "lesbian" subreddit they posted it to agree with them.
Read full post on the Wayback Machine
Read full post on archive.today
Trans man encouraged to "name and shame" gay bar because it doesn't allow biological females at its gay night
The bar also has a trans night, but that wasn't enough.
View posts on archive.today
View posts on Wayback Machine
One user described gay men as "not homosexual but dick sexual", and implied that the idea that gay men don't like vaginas is "toxic"
"You can be gay, just keep it to yourself"
In response to the "dick sexual" post, user eggcracked2wice replies "there's nothing transphobic about not being attracted to trans people", but that "loudly projecting it" is "extremely transphobic". Another user replies to eggcracked2wice describes homosexuality as a "fetish for body parts", accuses eggcracked2wice of just wanting "to say [they] don't like pussy" and tells them to "shut up". Sadly, these are not the only examples of trans rights activists calling homosexuality a "fetish" or telling gay people to keep it to themselves.
Reddit user said they would "make a huge fucking scene" if they were excluded from a gay mens' space because of their female sex
Citations
1. r/trans - Our expanded rules (2024 snapshot on archive.today), accessed 17 Feb 2024
2. r/trans - Our expanded rules (2024 snapshot on Wayback Machine), accessed 17 Feb 2024